let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Will exercising make me less horny?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
