I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
