i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
