New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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