I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
foreskin is a definite game changer
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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