so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize