I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
