Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
