You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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