chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
