how can u be prego again
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
