I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
