So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
