just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
