brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
