No awkward lesbian experiences without me
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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