I like my sex mixed with concussions.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
