Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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