once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
