She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
