So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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