bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Randomize
