trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
