Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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