I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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