Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
