would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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