Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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