Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
