I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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