Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
