Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
