the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
