I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
