i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
