Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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