you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize