Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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