White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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