You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
