Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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