I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
honey bunches of taint.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
