he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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