AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
