Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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