We're facebook friends in real life
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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