We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
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