I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
