i jhust puked up my retainher.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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