I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
