R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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