Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
