Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
