sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
