it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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