I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
