Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
