yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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