Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
