You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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