o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
