You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
