I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
